Red Rover

Photo caption: My baby sister Natalie a.k.a. Rat a.k.a. Ms. Adrian If You're Nasty (a.k.a. also probably too young for my Janet Jackson reference) drew me this picture when she was seven, the year I went to college. I hold on to things.

My older sister Suz said it best (as she usually does) when she compared siblings to the people you hold hands with in life's version of Red Rover. Life will run at you with full speed, but if you have your family to hold on to tightly you can't lose.

She also inscribed the book we all wrote our parents: To Mom and Dad, whose decision to have a family has given me wonderful life-long friends. I've always had my siblings, my life-long friends, through thick and thin. November was thick and December has been thin, but they have been there.

SUZETTE is my Mother Goose with a mother's heart who can always squeeze one more into her gaggle or one more under her wing. She has checked on me every few days to assess my overall well-being. When she couldn't fix the IVF result she medicated me with an Etsy purchase entitled "Lot of 100 Vintage Christmas Smalls" that gave me hours and hours of endless crafting entertainment. She can always make me laugh by impersonating her husband or doing one of her voices. She can mimic anyone. When we were kids she was always in charge of me, whether it was being the Monopoly banker, taking me to the bus stop, teaching me how to drive stick or helping me with eye shadow the first day of 7th grade. We formed many clubs in the corner of her bedroom and she was always the president and I was always the secretary. She's still the president. She manages to oversee all of me and still run her own day to day.

CRISTALL lives in my same town and is lovingly known as "Aunt Cerstall" by my daughter. She is the big-eyed innocent that stops my bleeding heart with caramel bars, home-canned grape juice, puzzles, back scratches, long phone conversations, Eric Dowdle jokes and illegal eye contact during Bikram yoga. She is close enough to physically take care of me. This summer I got the stomach flu when Greg was camping with the scouts. TMI, but I threw up inside my bathtub. She brought me Gatorade and an US Weekly about Duchess Kate and then cleaned my tub. Say no more. That is what kind of sister she is. She can also recall movie trivia better than anyone I know. We were watching that old Hayley Mills movie The Moonspinners when we were home for Rat's wedding and there is some random extra sitting on a couch in a scene and she said, "That lady plays Edward's mother in Three Men and a Little Lady." I googled it and she was right, and the movies are 26 years apart. Serious talent.

MATTHEW is the illegitimate son of Jim Carrey and Chris Farley. He's the funniest person I know and has fathered four completely crazy boys. I call him Brother and he calls me Sister, just like the Berenstain Bears. Every phone call eventually ends because one of his boys is chasing a raccoon at the beach or just kicked their dog off the deck or just whacked another kid with a wooden sword. I have a voicemail of him singing me Hootie and the Blowfish that will never be deleted. When he was still single we were driving around together and he sang along to "I Only Wanna Be With You" in his super bass vibrato. It became our thing and we sing it to each other to be funny. After IVF this was my message: "Oh there's nothing I can do-ooooo, I only wanna be with yoooooo-ooooooou. Alright, so that might have not been the prettiest voicemail (sound of him chuckling at himself). Anyway, I just wanted to call and say hey. I love you lots. If you feel like calling me back I'd love to chat. Take care, Sister." Sometimes I can't believe my baby bro is all grown up with four awesome kids and a Maltese and a van down by the river on an island in Florida, but he is.

NATALIE is the amalgam of all the Durko kids with her own fresh face and approach to life to boot. She is a renaissance woman and can truly do anything. Half marathon? Check. Martha Stewart five-tiered chocolate cake? Check. Nursing school? Check. I would love her even if her cat DIDN'T sleep in a copy paper box. I loved Little Rat that drew me the Christmas picture when she looked like a Precious Moments doll in her Limited Too corduroys and grosgrain ribbon headband. But I love Mrs. Adrian just the same. Natalie always keeps it real. After IVF she called and said So do you want to talk about it, or do you want to talk about something else? Something else. I'm going to text you a picture of the crossbody bag I really want from Anthro. And then we talked about face oils and Sephora samples and aluminum-core stainless steel cookware and juicing recipes* and normal stuff, which made me feel like I could make it. Natalie is always down for a rapid fire game of wits. She's actually always down for anything. She's also the only well-rounded person I know that would text me about Cool Whip, but Durkoviches know how important Cool Whip is. Staff of life around these parts.

Red rover, red rover, keep sending it over. I'm equipped.

*Her recipe I refer to as NEWLYWED JUICE: half a bag of Cutie clementines (I did 7), 1 lemon, 1 grapefruit, 2 apples, 1 carrot. All shoved down the juicer. Super refreshing.