Dole

  

It's officially grilling season and there is not much better than grilled pineapple spears.

In 1996 I went to the Dole Pineapple Farm in Hawaii but didn't pay a lick of attention to what the employees were saying on the tour. I was taking pictures of tiny pineapples and red pineapples and upside-down pineapples. Check out how sharp the leaves are! Do many fruits come with their own armor? Seriously, throw me in the briar patch. Just don't throw me in the pineapple patch. Yowzers.

My good friends Chris and Michelle Powell had a Hawaiian anniversary a few years ago and they also went to the Dole Pineapple Farm. They actually listened to the employees. Here are the tips to buying the perfect pineapple every time:

1. Color doesn't matter.

2. The eyes should be the same size all over.

3. Don't pick a squishy one.

4. It should NOT smell like pineapple. (If it does, it's too ripe. Like buying an avocado that is squishy.)

5. Turn it upside down in your fridge to let the juices flow back up to the top.

6. Once cut up, rinse the pineapple to rid it of extra acid. No more sores in your mouth!

Number four is the most important one. It is counterintuitive to buy fruit that doesn't smell. Ever since they taught me their tricks I haven't picked a bad pineapple. Let all the other suckers at the store buy the fragrant, dry, pale, non-succulent ones.

Aloha.