Ploptart

Homemade poptarts filled with homemade blackberry jam. Flour everywhere, messy, labor-intensive, best thing I've eaten in months. The drizzle had vanilla bean paste in it, which means it had little brown specks in it. You know specks make everything cuter, right? Like on a chicken egg. Like freckles. Like the underside of a fern frond. (I know, those are spores, and spores aren't a lovely thing to speak of...but I still like them.)

I drove all the way up to Orson Gygi JUST to buy vanilla bean paste. It comes in a dark brown glass jar and has an apothecary label. I'm over the moon for it. But, like cocoa, don't lick it on its own. There were enough dough scraps to make a 10th poptart, so I filled Mr. Bonus with nutella and peanut butter. I don't want to quote a Bryan Adams song, but I think I have to: Thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Oh, Waking Up the Neighbors, you were probably the 5th cd I ever bought from BMG Music Club.

Organic Goop Treats from Gwyneth's blog. Perhaps the nastiest thing I've ever put in my mouth. The maiden 8x8 sailed into the trash and Greg named it a "ploptart" since it looked like a giant cow plop. (Should I talk about spores again?) Basically the opposite of my earth-shattering poptarts.

I reworked a second batch with normal Rice Krispies instead of Arrowhead Mills Puffed Rice cereal (which taste like sugarless, soft-from-humidity Honey Smacks). I also used half almond butter, half Skippy. Sue me. I have unquantifiable love for Skippy peanut butter. I can't let my childhood go. I just can't. The second batch was good. We rolled them into balls and named them Balls of Energy, but that's probably misleading as they are mostly Balls of Brown Rice Syrup. Semantics.

You know how in Runaway Bride Julia Roberts has to figure out what kind of eggs she likes because she always conforms to the man she is with? I have never changed my eggs for a man and just want it on the record how I like them:

Sauté:

5 button mushrooms (sliced)

10 grape tomatoes (quartered)

a few dashes of Spike seasoning

Add:

1 scrambled egg

1 T. crumbled feta

Additional breakfast info: I have to drink my water from a plastic cup. I can't handle my lips on glass so early in the morning. My green cup has a corduroy texture and I've had it since my bridal shower. Suz bought the set at Function Junction. My daily vitamins: multi, Vitamin D, folic acid, DHEA, and two L-Methionine for good measure. Just in case they work.

That is my perfect brekky (200 calories if you add half a Rio Star grapefruit). So now it's out there. I know what I like. I like vanilla bean paste, Skippy and anything with feta.