Dead End

 

Over the course of the years I literally tried everything but acupuncture to get pregnant. Often times I felt prompted to take specific measures. After praying about such measures I felt good and proceeded to action. This is why I tried spinal decompression, numerous specialty doctors, an upper GI scope to test for celiac disease, weekly massages (that one was my favorite), a trainer, etc. There came a point when I wondered, "Why did the Lord tell me to try all of these methods when none of them were the fix?"  

Then I read a true story entitled "Wrong Roads and Revelation" about Jeffrey Holland and his son, Matt, as they vacationed in southern Utah:

Returning from an exploring trip on backcountry roads, he and his father came to an unexpected fork and could not remember which road to take. It was late in the day, and darkness would soon be enveloping them. Seizing a teaching moment, Jeffrey Holland asked his son to pray for direction. Afterward, he asked his son what he felt, and Matt replied that he felt strongly that they should go left. Replying that he had felt the same way, his father turned the truck to the left. Ten minutes later, they came to a dead end and returned to take the other route.

Matt thought for a time and then asked his father why they would get that kind of answer to a prayer. His father replied that with the sun going down that was undoubtedly the quickest way for the Lord to give them information--in this case, which one was the wrong road. Now, though the other road might not be familiar and could be difficult in places, they could proceed confidently knowing it was the right one.

This story answered my query. I realized had I NOT tried all of my options I would have always wondered, "Did I not get pregnant because I have celiac? Did I not get pregnant because I'm not strong enough? Did I not get pregnant because I have lupus or RA or a compressed spine?" Ruling out all of these possibilities eliminated the prospect of me being nagged to death in the future by feelings of "If I had only ______ I would have gotten pregnant." Ruling things out with certainty truly eased my conscience.

Wrong roads and dead ends are an easy way to highlight the right road. I have learned that I quite prefer the "wrong roads" method of discovering what path to take in my own life. Yes, taking every path possible logs extra miles and costs but simultaneously makes solving the maze that much easier.