Stretch

Sometimes I want to crawl under a rock. I want to be so deep and dark in my own world I can't hear impressions about things to do for others. I can scarcely manage myself and my little family; extending to others seems a conflict of interest. I think these horrible thoughts despite the awareness and gratitude I feel for the many who reach out to me. I often feel foolish and embarrassed as a lone giraffe outstretched, as if my recipients are silently thinking my life is not your problem or get out of my business.

I feel like I am forever being tested; I just want to be alone but I'm aware the Lord gave me a very elastic shadow (it's one of my spiritual gifts). I don't want to lose my gift but I feel like I've been scaring a lot of unsuspecting cherries lately. If I'm being perfectly honest I'll admit my recent reaching has made me feel lonely. Which is probably why I want to crawl under a rock and stop being who I'm meant to be. I'm willfully neglecting cherries at this point. Cherries are the pits. No quiero cherries!

Naturally, blurbs and snippets about the importance of reaching started falling from the sky the minute I became a cherry rejecter. Freshly humbled, yet slightly askew, this knobby-kneed giraffe still hopes to be a valuable cherry-picking instrument in the Lord's hands.

Three Quotes About Reaching/Stretching: 

1] When I was a ward Relief Society president, my stake Relief Society president, Sister Ann Nicholls Madsen, challenged us to pray specifically, Lord, who needs me today? What is her name? I found that a rather frightening challenge. Frightening because it required me to commit, to listen, and to be available-and frightening because it worked. On the days I dared to say that prayer I did receive a name in the most miraculous ways. More than once I was led to the doorstep of a sister who needed someone at just that moment, whether in the anguish of watching her dying husband or just in need of a word of cheer. I rejoice in the memory of those miracles.

2] Reaching out to others is the best way to show your will is God's.

3] Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.

Quote references:

1) Elaine Marshall, "A Pattern For a Joyful Life" (I'm still too chicken to do it daily but the days I have asked have all come with clear answers...hence why I'm chicken. Selfish chicken.) 

2) Russell T. Osguthorpe (Russell Osguthorpe is the former general president of the Sunday School of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I specify because the Doctor of Infectious Diseases who diagnosed RE's freak illness in January has the same name. That guy is a saint in my book.)

3) Elder Richard G. Scott, "Trust in the Lord", Ensign, November 1995. (The talk he gave six months after his beloved wife passed from cancer.)