Fourth Watch

Tomorrow is December 3rd, a special day of highs and lows for me. At the low end Greg and I went and bought a painting of the Savior walking on water because we needed a miracle. We hung it next to my side of the bed, me being the needier one. It was the first thing I looked at each morning and the last thing I saw before I turned off my lamp. Every day I looked at that painting and said, "I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES."

And we all know I got my miracle. And an extra one two years later (with the positive pregnancy test taken on December 3rd).

Like Mary, I have kept December 3rd's things in my heart and pondered them.* Each year that passes I get a little further from the desperate scene I was a part of for so long. The distance has enlarged my vision of miracles.

The greatest miracle isn't getting what you want after years of faithfully waiting.

The greatest miracle is the Savior Jesus Christ and that he stays beside you when you don't.

He was born and swaddled on a starry night. He grew up to become the best of men. And one lonely night beneath an olive tree he suffered hard enough that he can even now understand my every feeling—be it high or low.

His perfect love is real. He walked on water; of course he helps me tread my own deep waters. He stilled stormy water; of course he calms my troubled heart. He showed up. Always. And he has/does/will for me: even if it's the last minute of the fourth watch.

*St Luke 2:19

Photo of our painting Christ Walking on the Water by Julius Von Klever. Painted in 1890. Klever was called "The Russian Rembrandt". This painting depicts the fourth watch, defined by the Romans as 3 am to 6 am. You know, when things always seem the worst.