TWO

I just flew home from my baby sister's wedding. Picture it: gorgeous bride with perfect spray tan in stunning haute couture wedding gown against an autumny Missouri forest, handsome bearded groom who mentioned Settlers of Catan in his vows, enough fur stoles to make Cruella de Vil mad with jealousy, ferns, twinkling votives, lots of pretty people.

Somewhere between them entering the event to "Paradise City" and cutting their cake to "Pour Some Sugar on Me" I ate six miniature Monte Cristos while Greg chowed three lobster mac-n-cheeses.

My studly dad and maid-of-honor-sister Suzette toasted the new couple with Grandpa's homemade cider. Here here. There was dancing, there was a photo booth, there were even a few more Monte Cristos. Delightful friends and family. It was the best weekend.  

My favorite party favor? A little wisdom from one Roger Adrian, CPA, father of the groom.

Per custom Roger gave the couple a toast at the rehearsal dinner (which was held in an art gallery and featured butternut squash lasagna sans hazelnuts). Roger announced that he was no orator. That he was just a CPA that loved numbers. He said he kept thinking about the number 2 for Natalie and Ryan.

Roger explained that 2 can obviously mean A PAIR. 1+1=2. 1 Person + 1 Person = Two People.

He also said that 2 can mean SECOND, meaning you are not Number One, you are Number Two.

Roger taught me that the TWO is really important in marriage.

It is important for every pair to remember there can only be one ONE at any given moment, and the other must be a TWO, and that turns are taken being each number.

I found this to be one of the wisest things I've ever heard.

No one wants to marry someone that is a ONE all the time. Those are called bullies and dictators and narcissists. Nobody wants to be a TWO all the time. Those are called doormats. It caused me to reflect on my own marriage, where I'd love to say that I have had equal shares of each number...but the truth is I've probably acted/demanded/controlled like a ONE for most of it.

I'll admit it. I'm a huge control freak. Greg's laissez faire attitude generally forces me to be bossy, I mean direct. I need to calm down. It's not about being in the Alpha in charge. It's about sharing. Sharing spotlights, glory, brainstorming clouds, wishes and attention. It is a rotation.

I suspect the sum of a ONE and a TWO is greater than its parts. I suspect it is BLISS.

*Photo of Russian subway ticket used circa 2004 by Greg, who is a ONE at guacamole making and driving rental cars.