Elephant(s)

I need to address the elephants in the room.

I've been on some oral meds for IVF this week. The pills say "may cause extreme dizziness/drowsiness" and I'm taking double doses of both. (Go, follicles, go!) I'm dizzy. Dizzy like my eyeballs shudder back and forth inside my sockets as if they are cold. Dizzy like I can't see clearly enough to sew or write with a pen. Dizzy like I should not drive (but have to, since Greg is out of town). Dizzy like I think I'm talking normally and then I hear myself and want to slap myself out of it. Today is the last day of the dizzy meds. I really hope they wear off sometime tomorrow.

I'm awake but the eyeballs are making it hard to do anything. The only thing I can do is think. And I think I realized why I just had a holy flippin' freakout.

Because it's the middle of November and I haven't done one thing for Christmas. I'm usually 50% prepped by now. I'm usually Superwoman. I'm usually Crafty Crafterson knee-deep in thoughtful, homemade riff raff guaranteed to burst hearts on Christmas morning by now. But this year? Zilch.

I've been thinking about all I want to do and I'm overwhelmed. My dizzy brain remembered that little riddle, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." The problem is I'm eating 18 elephants*. I have eaten each of the 18 elephants anywhere from 0-20%. Why finish one project when you can start two more?

I've also been thinking about my friend Jason Sherwood. He helped start a company called Choffy. Once he posted an article on facebook about multi-tasking versus switch-tasking. I actually read it because I pride myself in being a successful multi-tasker. The moral of the experiment (that was heavily researched, lots of data) was that you will get more accomplished if you switch-task (do one project at a time) than if you multi-task. It seemed like sacrilege when I read it. Today it seems like sagely needed advice.

Coldplay's lyric SLOW IT DOWN also comes to mind. This year I will have to slow it down. There will be other years to shame Martha Stewart with all that I accomplish. This year I just need to unwind and unravel and let life catch up to me. It would also be great if the catching involves lasting pregnancy.

I think the only way I am going to get through the holidays is to eat one elephant at a time.

With my new plan of Elephant Attack I devoured #15 in four separate days last week. My trusty Purdy is washed, shaped and back in its case. I am currently chewing on #11. That one is time-sensitive. Then I will move on to a festive, fun, delicious beast.

Chomp.

*There is an elephant in the photo.

*Partial List of My Elephants Just to Prove I'm Legitimately Stressed

1. Plant bulbs because I am sick of never seeing daffodils in April
2. Use Kohl's cash by Nov 10- Food Network Dutch oven
3. List old camera on ebay
4. Nordstrom return, look for houndstooth Topsiders
5. Buy a swim cap so I can keep mastering the freestyle
6. Order Amazon movies for bed rest entertainment
7. Schedule a dental cleaning for Lucy
8. Christmas cards? Pictures?
9. Digital video editing from present back to 2009. Yikes.
10. Continue to wonder why iTunes never syncs on my iPad but does on Greg's
11. Finish the ORECK holiday catalog
12. Five baby gifts
13. Find RE piano teacher
14. Thanksgiving menu
15. Paint exterior doors (trim + door)
16. Type recipes
17. RE's 2 secret sewing projects for Christmas
18. Greg's birthday Monday. Hopefully all he wants is properly-sized follicles and an apple pie because I'm not capable of much else at the moment.