Anew

Bonnie Oman used to live where I lived. She acted out head-shoulders-knees-and-toes at Mach 5 for the primary kids when she was nine months pregnant and made good curry when she wasn’t sewing thousands of eye masks. She swam with her kids in the pool, appreciated all cultures, and had a face that was used to smiling. She moved to North Carolina and now makes Chihuly plates and silhouettes in a home surrounded by trees. I knew I loved her when she dedicated the month of February to Pride and Prejudice and all things Darcy on her fireplace mantel. Best of all, she is a snowflake-cutting phenom. On January 2, 2016 she posted a picture of her December mantel festooned with swags of intricate, hand-cut snowflakes. (She don’t need no stinkin’ Cricut.) This was her caption:

I have loved having these nativities on the mantle this Christmas season. Each set is tied to a family member and has a story behind it. I felt a pang in my heart as I packed them up this morning. I couldn't help but give the baby Jesus a kiss before tucking him in. There is so much I want to say about how I feel about Christmas and how wonderful it is New Year’s follows so close to it. Even though not all the world celebrates the birth of our Savior everyone does celebrate New Year’s- a new start, a second chance, renewal of goals and dreams. But really that is why Christ came to earth- to give us a "New Year" as it were- a second chance, a renewal of faith and goals and dreams. He gave use the chance to be clean again, to try again. So although the whole world may not recognize New Year’s as our Saviors gift to us...I do. Happy New Year everyone!

I couldn’t get her sentiment out of my mind; I loved her view of a new year as a gift from the Savior.

Three months later I got a tiny but thick hand-addressed envelope (pitter patter heart palpitations). A bee card had carefully transported three folded snowflakes separated by layers of tissue paper across the country. Each dainty snowflake was a variation of L5 for Lawson Five and took my breath away. Who else would celebrate a baby due in August with custom snowflakes? O Bonny Lass, that’s who.

The snowflakes sat on my secretary desk absorbing admiration and sideways glances. I went to my 21-week ultrasound on Thursday and found a nickel in the parking lot as I opened my car door. It was an obvious omen for the Lawson Five; I picked it up and tossed it in my purse. Tails up. Breech baby? Hey, I was born breech (my mom is fearless) and look how I turned out.

Today is Easter Sunday. Last night I fed glossy brochure paper into my laserjet and read this Gordon B. Hinckley quote 89 times as 89 individual pages slowly rolled out:

There would be no Christmas if there had not been Easter. The babe Jesus of Bethlehem would be but another baby without the redeeming Christ of Gethsemane and Calvary, and the triumphant fact of the Resurrection.

There, minutes to midnight sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the floor (which really kills my knees) trying to ignore the Talenti mint gelato bar in my freezer, I thought about how closely Easter and Christmas are connected, I thought about the snowflakes still on my desk, and I thought about the gift of a new year. New anything, really.

NEW YEARS despite plucking grays and losing collagen because friendships are getting older and I’m finding my skin more and more comfortable. I like who I am and I like the path I’m on. I like where I’m headed…especially if I can ever master self-control and sugar cravings and bedtime. I yearn for consistency.

NEW HOUSES even if I miss the mark now and again because of doorknob and faucet selection. It's just a box that moth and rust will corrupt but it's my box and the Lord said go and dress this garden. I want to do my best. It's my ultimate design project. Did I mention we still haven't dug a hole in our dirt? Did I mention I have a minor role in Draper's current soap opera entitled By the Time You Get Your Permit You Won't Be Young But You Will Be Restless?

NEW BEGINNINGS because Kamden-on-the-Move said WE ARE GOING FROM GREAT TO GREAT and I am stealing her mantra. It’s all great.

NEW WEEKS because I need a blessed Monday and a fresh to-do list after a weeks of family sickness blackout, neglected piles, mayhem, and low sleep. I need new angles to attack the goals and responsibilities that aren't happening. Menu, budget, schedule, health...just work! Greg...just eat quinoa!

NEW LIFE oh my little baby boy on the way! The ultrasound tech was obsessing over his lips. She said it five times: how amazing his lips were. Like the Rolling Stones logo. I’m going to get this kid some manly-scented Bonnie Bell lipsmackers.

NEW RESOLVE to override failure and try again, even when I stink it up and fail as a wife mother human disciple daily. Most of me is so good but I keep some selfishness in my back pocket. And that little part of me that isn’t tamed with patience…ouch. It hurts things. I do not want to hurt my family. In one of my notebooks is written in caps SELFISHNESS DESTROYS FAMILIES.

This year, during an ultra-transitional (and pretty hormonal) season of life I am saved by Easter. Is it not a marvel the good in my life can be infinite and the bad can be eternally erased? My weak spots cry out for a free boost; existing strengths get enameled for future testing. Chaos needn’t be permanent and precious needn’t be temporary. I can sort this out, twist and tune my compass, and still land on my feet because of Easter. The Savior is the only one who can help me change because he alone bought me unlimited Do-overs, Try Agains, and News nearly 2,000 years ago in a grove of olive trees. I’m certain I wouldn’t have seen it as such without Bonnie’s Christmas snowflakes at Easter.

*Bonnie gave me permission to quote her. Photo lyric from the hymn "Praise to the Lord, the Almighty". Lily photo courtesy of a print (intaglio?) I took out of the trash in my printmaking class at BYU. I don't know who made it or who threw it away but I thought it was lovely and put some colored pencils to it. I've saved it all these years and finally found the right use for it.

Also, the day I found the nickel Ari found a penny at the junior high. She told me our coinage sum was clearly an omen for Lawson Six. I wasn't sure what to tell her. I'm just hoping to make it to the finish line with this one.