Mind the Gap

I got two good things in the mail last week. (We were in California for Spring Break, so it was fun to come home to something besides bills and duplicate Athleta catalogs. Sorry, Athleta, but no out of shape pregnant woman wants to look at ripped female paddle boarders in bikini bottoms.)

1. MY FNDN’S EASTER CARD. She sends Easter cards instead of Christmas cards which is genius because it’s one less thing to do in December and Easter never falls in May, which I call “the other December.” She included a quote by Lloyd Newell in her card. Lloyd is the host of Music and the Spoken Word (the longest-running uninterrupted network broadcast in the world…over 4500 consecutive weekly broadcasts) and was also my teacher at BYU back in the day. FNDN’s husband is a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and rubs shoulders with Mormon celebrities like it’s no big deal. He heard the quote firsthand:

“Human relationships are the raw materials that make a rich, meaningful, fulfilling life. So instead of using people and loving things the best people use things and love people.”

This was a good reminder for me, again, while in the throes of building a custom home. I’ve been laser focused on choosing countertops and hardware and carpet and windows. Occasionally I daydream about canning peaches and stirring sauce under a hammered copper hood. I’ve convinced myself the large and spacious island with the hood will be life-altering. I forget I am only going to USE these things, not LOVE them. Only crazy people love range hoods. Then again, Greg truly loves hot water heaters because they give him life-altering 40-minute showers and he’s about as good of a guy as you can get. I love people! I do. Really. But copper...ay yay yay.

FNDN’s quote helped bring me back to the stratosphere where normal people live and yesterday during church I sat up in the choir seats peeking around the organ at the faces I’ve known for years. (Some of them for almost 17 years.) I did the math and figured if they REALLY start digging our hole this week then I have maybe 30 Sundays before I won’t look at these faces anymore. And then I started crying. These people have made me who I am. They took selfish, clueless, college-grad Melissa and helped her grow into a woman with eyes that see heavier things and a heart that feels others’ pain. These are people I have snickered, sobbed, and stood with. They are my hood. (Please excuse the one time I spoke like a ganster.) They are beyond copper. They are gold.

2. THE DHC SKINCARE CATALOG. I’m on every mailing list on earth, therefore I receive eight to ten catalogs a day. After years of firmly ignoring DHC's Japanese product line I eventually caved and bought some facial cleaning oil. (It’s awesome, btw.) Each DHC catalog contains free samples so it doesn’t upset me to get a catalog every three weeks. (samples>landfill) After I pulled my CoQ10 foaming face wash sample from the centerfold I read the customer spotlight. Bonnie Hepworth, age 52, is a former RN and animal rescue junkie who raises orphaned baby squirrels (I really did laugh out loud) and uses blah blah blah product morning and night…and then I saw her motto:

“Our lives are made up of two dates and a dash. Make the most of the dash.”

Seriously, I can find a pearl anywhere. Bonnie Hepworth, you and your baby squirrels can rock on. Thank you for that. I am living the dash and it’s dashing by like a flash. I want to mindfully fill the gap between my two dates with people, not things. And when I do buy things, because we all need things, I want to use them to please people.

*FNDN stands for Forever Next Door Neighbor, Lloyd D. Newell quote from Music and the Spoken Word's March 20, 2016 broadcast.

p.s. Kamden told me her uncle said to "Only love things that can potentially love you back." I think copper is in the "can't love me back" category. Another good saying!